Parashas Emor - Chinuch - How do we teach our children?!?!?!?

This one too is from Steve Schlisel:

Chinuch- חינוך implies so much more than just education, but in this instance, there isn't a much better word in English (maybe inculcation or indoctrination?). As parents, we hopefully have at least some appreciation of its paramount significance, in contributing to the proper development of our offspring. After all, who doesn't want anything more than their kids to turn out good. With the prominent appearance of ושננתם לבניך and ולמדתם אותם את בניכם in our daily kriyat shema prayer - along with many other prayer and literary references - the Torah naturally attributes incredible value to this all-important topic.

However of course, the "Final Jeopardy" question is, "How do we teach our children to do what's right?"   

One sure-fire way is derived from the first possuk in our parsha

וַיֹּאמֶר ה' אֶל מֹשֶׁה אֱמֹר אֶל הַכֹּהֲנִים בְּנֵי אַהֲרֹן וְאָמַרְתָּ אֲלֵהֶם לְנֶפֶשׁ לֹא יִטַּמָּא בְּעַמָּיו

Hashem said to Moshe, say to the kohanim, the sons of Aharon, and say to them, Let no priest become ritually impure through contact with a (dead) person

Rashi, obviously bothered by the seemingly redundant "say" and "say" and by the unusual placement of הַכֹּהֲנִים בְּנֵי אַהֲרֹן instead of the more normal בְּנֵי אַהֲרֹןהַכֹּהֲנִים  writes "אמר ואמרת, להזהיר גדולים על הקטנים" say and say - that the adults should warn (admonish) the youth (about not becoming impure)...as if to say,"Say to the older kohanim that they should say to the younger kohanim... Later commentators expound and expand on this, keying in on Rashi's own unusual wording להזהיר גדולים על הקטנים instead of להזהיר גדולים את הקטנים, to refer to the general idea of chinuch, interpreting להזהיר על as to shine on (...you crazy diamond). What's interesting is that even though this thought is based on the double"say" in the possuk, the lesson is that the most effective chinuch is showing by example, not (just by) talking...or in other words, don't (just) talk the talk, but walk the walk.

Other reasons why the metaphor of shining is so fitting for chinuch: 

1 - Sometimes the original source light is too bright and can only be appreciated when diffused into smaller vessels We can't look at the sun, but we can (though for other reasons, we shouldn't) look at the moon, which receives its light from the sun. So too, sometimes a rabbi/instructor is too high/bright to be understood themselves, and their true light can only be comprehended by their students that they teach (This doesn't really apply to parents, since most kids never understand their parents AND don't think they are too "bright")   

2 - Whereas the original light appears to be a single homogeneous entity, that light can take on many different forms and manifestations based on the nature and structure of the vessels it shine into. So too a parent's/rabbi's unified personality can come out in many diverse ways in their children/students   

3 - As opposed to other types of 'giving', that can involve the emptying of the source container as it fills up the receiving unit, a light source that shines, is not diminished one iota no matter how many vessels it shines into. So too a parent/rabbi can continuously give off their light without any fear of being drained

many different aspects can be detected in vessels it shines into. 

Stay tuned after Shabbos for a special edition for Peach Shenei which I believe should be this generations holiday!

A Dvar Torah by Steve Schlissel that I used as a speech at my son Avraham Elishas Shabbos Bar Mitzvah.

Where are we today compared to where our ancestors were? So often, our perspectives and priorities are screwed up (of course by "we" and "our", I mean "I" and "my"). What excites us? What do we look forward to? Where do we have to be careful not to go overboard?

Does shacharis, mincha and maariv get our juices flowing, or is that ball game, concert or program that gives us an adrenalin rush?

Do we look forward to the spiritual aspects of Shabbos and the Holidays or more so to the kiddush, chulent, and naps we partake of?  

Do we need to be concerned about spending too much time and energy on our night learning seder, or on our smartphones?

(Is my freudian slip showing?)

How long has it been since we had a ben Azzai who was so completely devoted to the Torah, that he couldn't detach himself from it, to have a family and perform the supreme mitzvah of פרו ורבו (and he was excused) - He ultimately left this world via הציץ ומת - he gazed and he died - as one of the four who entered the heavenly "פרדס-orchard" with Rabbi Akiva, and whose soul yearned too strongly to remain bound to the pure light of Torah, rather than return to this world.

How is this an intro into our first parsha this week? Because of it's very first possuk

וַיְדַבֵּר ה' אֶל מֹשֶׁה אַחֲרֵי מוֹת שְׁנֵי בְּנֵי אַהֲרֹן בְּקָרְבָתָם לִפְנֵי ה' וַיָּמֻתוּ.

Hashem spoke to Moshe after the passing of the two sons of Aharon, who died in their coming close to Hashem.

There are so many reasons cited by chazal as to what was the real cause of the death of these 2 holy tzadikim. While we certainly believe "אלו ואלו דברי אלקים חיים"

that each explanation given by our venerable sages are the (true) word of Hashem, nevertheless, the simple pshat in our possuk is undeniable

... בְּקָרְבָתָם לִפְנֵי ה' וַיָּמֻתוּ'

they died in their coming (too) close to Hashem. In fact the Kli Yakar says these 4 words are not part of the narrative but were the words that Hashem spoke to Moshe Rabbeinu...so that it should be unmistakably clear in his (and Aharon Hakohen's) mind why exactly why they were killed.  

Rebbe Nachman explains in Likutei Moharan I chap. 38

כי לפעמים לב האיש הישראלי בוער מאד מאד להשם יתברך כיקד יקוד אש, אבל הוא יותר מדי, עד שהיה אפשר להיות אוקיד כל גופא. ואף על פי שבוער להשם יתברך, אף על פי כן מאחר שהוא יותר מדי אינו טוב

loosely translated.. Sometimes a Jew (because of their soul's natural tendency to return to its origin) can have so intense a burning desire to serve Hashem, that they are in danger of being totally consumed by that fire. And even though this a fire for Hashem, since it's too much, it's not a good thing. This can too often be seen with Baalei Tshuvah whose newly discovered/awoken souls can't contain their fresh exposure to Torah and mitzvos (like a kid turned loose in a candy store after a long punishment, or a freed convict after being incarcerated for 20 years) and who will not just 'catch fire', but will become a nova*. 

(* a star that suddenly increases its light output tremendously and then fades away to its former obscurity in a few months or years)

Presented in many forms THIS is the 'yetzer hara' of tzadikim. Sometimes it's also called being דוחק את השעה - literally, pressing the hours...meaning to force an issue before its time. All this is born out of a tzadik's intense genuine desire to honor Hashem and to come close to Him. Yet, as great and holy as these tzadikim are, allowing themselves to give in to their yetzer hara is (ususally) not what Hashem wants. and they suffer harsh consequences. Bur because their intentions were pure, their only 'punishment' is their death. Afterwards, the results of their actions resonate in the Heavens and much comes from them (as the case of Nadav and Avihu, whose passing sanctified the mishkan and whose eternal memory helps achieve a pardon for all those who shed tears over them)

The idea that as great, necessary and praiseworthy is רצון & כיסופים - desire and yearnings for holiness, they must not go unchecked. They need to be tempered by our world's physical boundaries of Time, Space and Matter ...the Who (no, not THAT the Who), What , Where, and When parameters of our universe.

These can be found at the root of other parts of our parsha

Yom Kippur - The entire detailed service of this holiest of days is davka introduced by mentioning the passing of Nadav and Avihu, to teach us that no matter how strongly one would want to approach and serve Hashem (as they most definitely intended to do), if the timing is wrong, one must wait. The lesson of Yom Kippur itself teaches us 

בזאת יבוא אהרון, אל-הקודש....

Only Aharon - Kohen Gadol + the special sacrifices and ketoress + only this one day of the year + the Holy of Holies. You wanna come (real) close? You must meet these Who, What, When & Where criteria.

Sacrifices - Here too, bringing sacrifices, which is a primary expression of our desire to (re)attach to our Father in Heaven can not be realized wherever we want. It is only possible in the Mishkan/Beis Hamikdash  (Where)

Sexual Relations - This most intimate and powerful expression of our feelings for another person (to exclude animals and members of the same sex, both of which are way out of bounds and also spelled out in our parsha), can only be with those that Hashem determines fit for us  (Who)

My Oyyyyyy outburst, was because even though this overzealous behavior is clearly wrong, I was bemoaning that halavai THIS was our error. At least we should be focused on worthwhile goals. And while we must avoid overheating and overdoing, we do need to ignite a little simmering and controlled flame

It's good to serve Hashem up to, but not beyond, the Outer Limits...or else you run the risk of entering the Twilight Zone

From the Archives circa. 2011

Kedoshim - And finally, an actual thought about our (second) parsha which discusses a whole slew of mitzvos covering a wide range of daily activities, through all of which we are supposed to sanctify ourselves in the service of our Creator.

While most of the commentaries define kedoshim/kadosh as variations of sanctify and holy, I would like to offer an alternative definition; dedicated. Even in modern Hebrew להקדיש זמנך is to dedicate/set aside your time.

The essence of dedication means to be of a single purpose, to focus all your attention and energy exclusively to a task or goal or cause. It's a term often associated with Olympic athletes, dancers or musicians, and unfortunately less so with religious Jews. (Authors note: If we can have computers that are "dedicated servers", wouldn't it be nice if we could all be dedicated servers...of Hashem)

We are told in this week's parsha 

קדושים תהיו כי קדוש אני - 

Be Kadosh..because I am Kadosh. Also  כי means "as" - so be Kadosh as I am Kadosh

Does there exist any entity that is MORE dedicated to a task than Hashem. He knows precisely and totally what is needed to successfully manage creation and nothing at all can distract him from successfully carrying out His plan. We are supposed to try and emulate Him to the best of our ability.

To succeed at this is no walk in the park. It takes hard and persistent work. In fact the hint is found in the word itself. קדש are the same letters as שקד which means to work diligently, to labor, to strive.

Yes, we are commanded to be holy, to sanctify our actions, specifically in our day-to-day acts. But how? If we could concentrate a little better on why we are supposed to be holy and who we are supposed to be serving, we can all become 24/7 dedicated servers and give Hashem real nachas..

Nice!

My Zeidy a"h. Areyeh Leib ben Baruch Bendit / Leo Ogorek

I remember once when I was in a certain yeshiva, back in the days when part of the yeshiva experience was still the bad food, I was talking to my Babby and complaining about the fish for lunch that seemed to still be alive, it was also before sushi was popular and my Babby said "When your grandfather was in yeshiva, they didn't get any food, they had to go knocking on peoples doors asking for handouts, and once a week for Shabbos they would get some chicken." I never heard my Zeidy complain about that. Then the holocaust, losing his whole family etc. I never heard my Zeidy complain, sit around and kvetch about that. Then off to America with $20 in their pockets $10 for a chair for my Zeidy b/c he couldnt stand, and as Babby likes to say shes still waiting for the change. Still no complaints, working hard 12 + hrs a day, no complaints, getting robbed in the bakery, at home, no complaints. The one constant was the shtieging. Always learning, always with a dvar Torah. The letters he would send me were filled with divrei Torah. And all I do is complain, about my job, about the car I don't have, about how I need a better bike and on and on. It hit me about a month and a half ago when I was on a trip to all different kivrei Tzadikim in the Ukraine, after a few days I stopped myself and said what am I complaining about I can just imagine all of the people that have been in all of these places that really had what to daven for I should stop complaining. I have it good. Not in the zchus of anything that I have done, who am I but a spoiled child of the 21st century. The reason I have it so good B"H is because of the stock that I come from because my grandparents worked so hard, because my grandparents didnt complain, because my Zeidy learned so shtark, so much. I thank you for that Zeidy. I know you always got nachas from whatever little that I would do, and from my children even more so and I hope that you continue  to get nachas from us. I just want to end off with something that I said by my Saba A"H Shmuel Shmelke Gross's shloshim which I think applies to my Zeidy as well. The ninth of Reb Nachmans 13 famous stories is the story of The Sophisticate and the Simpleton, the Chacham and the Tam. It's about 2 friends who grow up together and eventualy went on their own ways one to become a worldly, educated, etc. guy, and his friend a simple shoemaker  Long story short the simpleton ends up 2nd to the king and the sophisticate ends up with nothing chased by the law. Simple doesn't mean stupid ,far from it. Both my grandfathers in their own ways were true examples of the Tam the simple men who make the world keep going. I just hope that I could learn to be more simple, not complain so much, teach that to my children and give my Zeidy what to smile about while he's shteiging away in the big yeshiva up their. I know that he is in good company, with his family, with his old friends, with his rosh yeshiva and that puts a smile on my face. Babby, Abba, Aunt Elky, Uncles Ushy and Benny, may you be strong, knowing that Zeidy suffers no more and may you all be cosoled among all of the mourners of our nation and may we only know Simcha. Please Hashem send us the Mashiach so we can be together with Zeidy soon.